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Some more terms for the TECHNO OFFICE DICTIONARY

CLM: (Career-Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Dead Tree Edition: The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in: 'The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle...'

Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. 'I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.'

World Wide Wait: The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe: A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. 'I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.'

Under Mouse Arrest: Getting busted for violating an on-line service's rule of conduct. 'Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.'

Glazing: Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. 'Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?'

Graybar Land: The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). 'I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering.'

Open-Collar Workers: People who work at home or telecommute.

Squirt The Bird: To transmit a signal up to a satellite. 'Crew and talent are ready... what time do we squirt the bird?'

Cobweb Site: A Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time. A dead web page.

It's a Feature: From the adage 'It's not a bug, it's a feature.' Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. 'Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque.'

Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Gray Matter: Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established and it's not the gray brain matter they're hiring for...

Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

404: Someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message, '404 Not Found', meaning the requested document couldn't be located. 'Don't bother asking him, he's 404'.

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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michael.bissell.conquent.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.