Drinkers Alphabet

Drinkers Alphabet (PG)

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Drunks and Bars

A- Alcohol: The key to surviving High school

B- Beer: It's what's for dinner...and breakfast and lunch

C- Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after last night's party

D- Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic

E- Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party

F- Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out

G- Games: Anything that involves cards, stripping and chugging beers

H- Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank

I- Idiot: What you look like after doing a lap dance on fat kid (after just three beers)

J- Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home at 5 am

K- Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers

L- Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol

M- Money: That which you no longer have due to two dollar draft nite at the bar

N- Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know...again

O- Oh shit!- What you say as you're falling down the stairs

P- Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer

Q- Quit: What you promise to do after spending the nite in jail with Bertha the Bearded Transvestite

R- Reform: What you promise god you will do while you're puking in the toilet

S- Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk... aww yea

T- Twenty-one: Usually the age where you reach your peak of drinking

U- Underage: Most of the drinking population in town

V- Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to make Jello

W- Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of the porcelin god

X- X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it (detox)

Y- Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end

Z- Zima: Zomething Different....Zomething Fun :)

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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michael.bissell.conquent.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.