Things my mother taught me

Things my mother taught me (G)

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1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. . . "Just wait until your father gets home. "

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. . . . "You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE. . . "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you . . . Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC. . . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. . . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way. "

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD. . . "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job.

7. My Mother taught me ESP. . . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR. . . "When that lawn mower cuts off you toes, don't come running to me. "

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT. . . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up. "

10. My Mother taught me about SEX. . . . "How do you think you got here?"

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS. . . "You're just like your father. "

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS. . . "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE. . . "When you get to be my age, you will understand.

14. And my all time favorite. . . JUSTICE. . . "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. . . Then you'll see what its like. "

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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michael.bissell.conquent.com/blog -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.