We have seen the emergence or re-emergence of the following computer viri: Power users should take note of:

Monica Lewinsky virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Titanic virus
Makes your whole computer go down.

Ellen Degeneres virus
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Disney virus
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus
Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone virus
Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

Lorena Bobbit virus
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Tim Allen virus
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

Woody Allen virus
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

Saddam Hussein virus
Won't let you into any of your programs.

Tonya Harding virus
Turns yourBAT files into lethal weapons.

George Michaels virus
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.

Joey Buttafuoco virus
Only attacks minor files

X-files virus
All your Icons start shapeshifting.

Spice Girl virus
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Sony Bono virus
Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere.

Martha Stewart virus
Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 3GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 1GB, and then slowly expands to 4GB.

AT&T; virus
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI virus
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T; virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Viagra virus
Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.