Axe me about Ebonics

CATS: The other white meat

Dain bramaged

Don't be sexist - broads hate that

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel

Boldly going nowhere

CAUTION - Driver legally blonde!

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge
for Eating His Animal Friends

He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically
challenged

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired
from a car window!

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits
he is lost?

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance,
riddle them with bullets

I'm an imbecile and I vote

Money Isn't Everything...
But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone
up your ASS?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to
me not you!

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide
the bodies.

JESUS SAVES...He Passes It To Gretzky...
Gretzky Shoots...He Scores!

Jesus is coming! Look busy!

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Save Your Breath...
You'll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

Grow your own dope, plant a man

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots....I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your
lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...
You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry....
Then things get worse.

Friends help you move.
Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Be nice to your kids...
They will pick out your nursing home.

Always remember you're unique...
Just like everyone else.

Honk If You Want To See My Finger