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Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?

Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...

43.3% of statistics are meaningless!

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.

It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit.

Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?

|||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!

Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician.

Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.

The buck doesn't even slow down here!

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.

Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

Two can live as cheaply as one, but only for half as long.

Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.

We do precision guesswork.

My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.

'Oh what a tangled web we weave' - Hair Club for Men.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor

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