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1. Women won't unlock car door for men - Doesn't engage in oral sex 2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - no foreplay 3. Can't hail a cab - impotent 4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - prefers virgins 5. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - is a virgin 6. Insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan 7. Insists in going to a homey little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote 8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho 9. Wants to go to a French Restaurant - will swallow 10. Wants to go to a deli -won't swallow 11. Uses Sweet n' Low - wearing falsies 12. Takes too long deciding what to order - has trouble reaching orgasm 13. Orders salad dressing on the side - will give you a hand job but won't go 'all the way' 14. Gives explicit orders to waiter - will expect incredibly skilled gymnastics in bed 15. Asks for extra rolls - will say she's using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue 16. Insists on ordering for you, refering to you as 'the lady will have...' - thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't 17. Asks for the 'usual' - Insists on missionary position only 18. Asks what the specials are - will want you to use handcuffs 19. Fills up on bread and crackers - premature ejaculator 20. Doesn't finish everything on plate - has already come 21. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - will make you sleep on wet spot 22. Changes mind after ordering - will never call you 23. Changes tables - nymphomaniac 24. Drinks decaf - fakes orgasms (female) 25. Orders in French - fakes orgasms (male) 26. Sends food back - will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money 27. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - needs you to talk dirty during sex 28. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - wants a handjob 29. Orders a dessert involving nuts - castrating bitch 30. Wants to split dessert - is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters 31. Credit card is refused - low sperm count 32. Undertips waiter - small penis 33. Undertips parking valet - small penis 34. Undertips cabbie - small penis 35. Uses toothpick - is trying to tell you size isin't everything 36. Removable cassette player in car - pulls out repeatedly during sex 37. Cellular phone in car - penile implant
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