I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.
- Jerry Seinfeld.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
- Doug Larson.
My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don't work half the time.
What was green and a great trick shooter?
I leaf you with all this wisdom.
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Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at michaelbissell.com/blog
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.