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The Top 11 Entries in Bill Gates's Diary

11> Invited entire tech-support department to play golf. Brought
Melissa to complete the foursome.

10> Steve Jobs started work today. The silverware looks great, but
he doesn't do windows -- yet.

9> The baby cries constantly. Maybe I'll buy Fisher-Price.

8> Bought my first Macintosh. It's sooooo cute!

7> Good day. Found over 15 bucks' worth of soda cans in the trash
bins outside Microsoft headquarters.

6> Bad day. Ellison sent back the heads of two of the three
hitmen I hired, along with a note saying he ate the third one
whole.

5> Still ahead of Murdoch and Eisner. Yes!

4> Reminder: 35-cent Snapple coupon expires in two days!

3> Memo to self: Next time, when my wife says we need to buy
china, she means dishes.

2> Ran into Demi and Bruce. Upped my offer to a billion dollars.

and the Number 1 Entry in Bill Gates's Diary...

1> Seventh day: rested.