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The Top 13 Signs You Watch Too Much TV (G)
Send this joke to a friend!13> Your co-workers are obliviously to the fact that your 'DayTimer' is really a leather-bound TV Guide.
12> You're still trying to find a publisher for your book 'C-Span for Dummies.'
11> You have DSS, DVD, HBO, MTV, HDTV, MSNBC -- and HSA (Huge Sofa Ass).
10> To reduce 'downtime' -- you got an *elective* colostomy.
9> Last night you dreamt Sally Struthers begged you to send money to buy rice for poor, starving Ally McBeal.
8> Your name: Nick Nickelodeon's new channel: Nick for Nick
7> You write daily to the producers of 'Bassmasters' to urge them come out with movie version.
6> Your last comment to your most recent ex-wife: 'Shhhhhhh! T.J. Hooker's on.'
5> You effortlessly crack walnuts with your clicker thumb.
4> Forget the dish, *you* have your own friggin' satellite.
3> As surgeons painstakingly remove the petrified Cheetos embedded in your gargantuan ass cheeks, you spend the entire 7 hours staring dumbly at the EKG monitor.
2> Those 37 electrocutions still don't deter you from watching cartoons in the shower.
1> The last time you *read* for enjoyment was when they subtitled Arnold the Pig on an episode of Green Acres.
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