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Dead Horse Tales (G)
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Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business, we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying 'This is the way we always have ridden this horse.'
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that 'This horse is not dead!'
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that 'No horse is to dead too beat.'
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a Cost Analysis Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare the horse is 'better, faster and cheaper' dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.


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Bill's new intern (R)
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This is the FBI summary of a conversation that took place this week between President Clinton and Kimberly, a brand new intern in the White House. Kimberly walked into the White House for her first day of her internship and was greeted by the President.

After a short tour of the White House the President asked 'How would you like to see the Presidential Clock?' Kimberly looked troubled and said 'I don't know Mr. President. I have heard some pretty bad things about you. I don't think that would be a good idea.'

'Nonsense' said the President. 'It's just a clock.' Kimberly agreed and the President lead her into the Oval Office where they were alone. He closed the door, dropped his pants, and pulled it out.

Kimberly gasped. 'Oh that's not the Presidential Clock, that's the Presidential Cock!'

To which the President responded: 'Kimberly honey, you put a face and two hands on it and its a clock!'


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