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A guy named Penis von Lesbian came from Austria to America to become an actor.

He went to lots of auditions, but never got a job.

Finally one director took him aside and said, 'Son, the only reason we're turning you away is your name. If you want to make it in this town, you gotta change the name!'

But Penis von Lesbian said: 'I can't do that! This is my name!'

The director said: 'Suit yourself!' and went on his way.

Years and years later, their paths crossed again. The director said, 'I remember you! You're Penis von Lesbian! Did you ever get around to changing your name?'

The actor said, 'Yes, and it helped! Now I go by Dick Van Dyke.'