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''In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.'' - Paul Harvey

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.'' - Herbert Hoover

''Always buy thermometers in the summer, because they come with more mercury.'' - Frank Muir ''

No matter where you go, there you are.'' - Buckaroo Banzai

''How would we measure hail without golf balls?'' - Hank Caruso

''One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.'' - Hank Caruso

''The only thing to prevent what's past is to put a stop to it before it happens.'' - Sir Boyle Roche

''This planet is our home. If we destroy our planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important.'' - Ross Perot

''You can not enlighten the unconscious.'' - Roger Mellot

''If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.'' - Bobcat Goldthwait

''Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'' - John Mendoza

''Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.'' -Sue Murphy

''I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.'' - Lily Tomlin

''Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, oh my!I could be eating a slow learner.'' - Lynda Montgomery