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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there. How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been diss-ing them anyhow?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as ''4's''?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.