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Unlike Humorless bureaucracies, real people can have fun with:
Real Signs Found In Various Places...


Sign in a maternity clothes store:
'We are open on labor day.'

Sign on the door of the maternity ward:
'Push Push Push.'

Sign in a non-smoking area:
'If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

Sign on a front door:
'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.'

Sign on fence:
'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.'

Sign on an electrician's truck:
'Let Us Remove Your Shorts.'

Sign in a realtor's office:
'Lots for little.'

Sign in a shoe store:
'Come in and have a fit.'

Sign in an optometrist's office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

Sign on a scientist's door:
'Gone fission.'

Sign in a taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'

Sign on used car lot:
'Second hand cars in first crash condition.'

Sign over a cannibal's hut:
'I never met a man I didn't like.'

Sign in a muffler shop:
'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.'

Sign at a hotel:
'Help! We need inn-experienced people.'

Sign in a science teacher's room:
If it moves, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Sign at the dry cleaner's window:
'Drop your pants here.'

Sign in an office:
'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.'

Sign in a veterinary's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

Sign at a computer store:
'Out for a quick byte.'

Sign in a bowling alley:
'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.'

Sign for a litter of dachshund pups:
'Get a `long` little doggie!'

Sign on a music library's door:
'Bach in a minuet.'

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home, Labor Day Weekend:
'Please Drive Carefully. We Can Wait.