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BENEFITS OF BEING FEMALE

* We got off the Titanic first.

* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

* We never ejaculate prematurely.

* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

* We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

* When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

* We don't have to get our strength up between sessions... and it's much easier for us to get 'some' in the first place.

* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

* We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......

*Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* Taxis stop for us.

* We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.