Responses to 'Dude! I wasn't THAT drunk!' (PG)
"Dude, you were in my closet yelling, 'where the f*ck is Narnia?'"
"Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo."
"Dude you hugged a hobo with a white beard and cried; DUMBLEDORE YOU'RE BACK!"
"Dude, you took my hat and muttered: Not Slytherin..."
"Dude, you asked your own girlfriend if she was single..."
"Dude you cut all of my pineapples and kept yelling: "Spongebob where are you!!"
"Dude you picked up my hamster and said, 'Go PICKUCHUE!'"
"Dude you picked up my parakeet and chucked it at my dog yelling ANGRY BIRDS!"
"Dude, you were trying to swim in mud and yelling 'I'm in Wonka's chocolate river!'"
"Dude, you were arguing with yourself over the phone and got upset when you hung up."
"Dude, you spent 2 hours tryna drown my goldfish!"
"Dude you were watching power rangers screaming 'WHICH ONE'S THE STIG?!?'"
"Dude, you were yelling 'Never' at my Justin Bieber posters!"
"Dude, you were jumping on my bed while yelling RedBull gives you wings!"
"Dude, you asked my mom if she was a virgin."
"DUDE! You pushed my girlfriend in the sea saying 'Be free ARIEL'!"
"Dude, you threw a squirrel in my pool and yelled 'Sandy, Bikini Bottom needs you!'"
"Dude, you kept asking my cat why he killed Mufasa!"
"Dude, you stood in my toilet and tried to flush yourself into the ministry of magic."
"Dude, you said Justin Beiber wasn't gay."
"Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story."
"Dude, you picked up a little Mexican girl and yelled, 'DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!'"
"Dude gave a midget a mushroom and said GROW MARIO GROW!"
"Dude you were telling 'yo mama' jokes to ORPHANS!"
"Dude, you posted a 'Dude I wasn't that drunk' joke"
"Dude, you covered yourself in glitter and screamed, 'Iím Edward Cullen!'"
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Why I Canít Support Bernie Sanders
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