Little Johnny at the Beauty Parlor (R)
Little Johnny's father decided it was time for 14-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor.
He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex. The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally."
So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure."
Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?"
"Yes, Ma'am, " Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."
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Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
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-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
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