Latin Phrases (G)
cogito ergo doleo.
I think therefore I am depressed.
sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.
ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
illiud Latine dici non potest.
You can't say that in Latin.
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Non possum credere me totum edisse.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.
Noli habere bovis, vir.
Don't have a cow, man!
Puto vos esse molestissimos.
I think that you are very annoying.
Veni, vidi, territus sum, curcurri!
I came, I saw, I got scared, I ran!
Veni, vidi, volo in domum redire.
I came, I saw, I want to go home.
Tua consilia omnia nobis clariora sunt quam lux. Tu delenda est.
All your plans are clearer than light to us. You must be destroyed.
I hate broccoli.
Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra?
How long are you going to abuse our patience?
Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes.
If you can read this, you are overeducated.
Ille sine toga per viam curret.
That man is running through the street without a toga.
Ecce potestas casei.
Behold the power of cheese.
Ubi est bibula?
Where's the beef?
Tu gestas mei cuniculum.
You are wearing my rabbit.
Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World
begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.
My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.
As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.
If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.
Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback
Be sure to check out my blog at
-- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make
the world... nutty.
Today's blog: Waking up from the Dream of the 90s
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter