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Horror movie-poster blurbs (G)

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G rated jokes
See the terror! Feel the shock! Live the horror!

Blood Suckers

If your flesh doesn't crawl, it's on too tight!

The Night Visitor

In Strangloscope!

Stranglers of Bombay

See teenage girls thrust into the weird, pulsating cage of horror!

Teenage Zombies

A beautiful woman by day, a lusting queen wasp by night!

The Wasp Woman

It will scare the living yell out of you!

How to Make a Monster

You'll be sick, sick, sick . . . from laughing!

A Bucket of Blood

They planted the living, and harvested the dead!

Invasion of the Blood Farmers

Something is happening. Send your men of science, quick!

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

It just won't lay down and stay dead!

The Head

Special Singing Guest Star Neil Sedaka!

Sting of Death

Warning: Those easily nauseated approach with caution!

The Werewolf vs. Vampire Woman

Centuries of passion pent up in his savage heart!

creature from the black lagoon

He was a two-fisted, singing sea-ranger!

Captain Calamity

We cannot be responsible if you never sleep again!

Blood Mania

In Flaming Hillbilly Color!

Shotgun Wedding

To caress me is to tempt death!

Cat Girl

Before ­ a Beautiful Girl. One Moment Later ­ a Skeleton!

Teenagers from Outer Space

Parents may be shocked, but youth will understand!

Eighteen and Anxious

What happens to women without men?

Girls in Prison

Buy my book!
Mundane Journeys through an Amazing World begins with Interstate 80. Not the most engaging topic, I know, but when you think about it, I-80 runs all the way across the North American continent linking San Francisco and New York. It's not just a ribbon of asphalt, it's a portal to far away, almost magical places.

My visits to major cities like Tokyo, London and Washington DC have been business affairs. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas.

As I wrote the book I realized that over the years exotic, distant places have become more like the mundane places I've called home. But, as it turns out, there really aren't any mundane places, only mundane ways of looking at things.

If you have the cost of a latte and a Kindle, you can buy a copy at Amazon by clicking here.

Or buy it in print! Mundane Journeys Trade Paperback

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: The New Facebook is Text Messaging
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