Jokeindex home

Mafia Valentines Poems (PG)

More Stuff!
Jokeindex Home
PG rated jokes
My love for you...
it came and went.
So your feet are now
in wet cement.

I'm here to fulfill your fondest wishes-
Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.

Lie down with me-
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying wit'
Jimmy Hoffa.

I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.

I've waited so long for you to be mine!
Now that Sinatra's dead, be *my* Valentine.

Be my Valentine...
and we can do it execution-style.

Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass.
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I'll have to whack your ass.

Violets are blue,
roses are red.
I blew up your car-
So why ain't you dead?

The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look,
You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
So shut your mouth and cook!


Youse da greatest.
Youse da best.
But youse is untouchable
Like Elliot Ness.

Lust is fleeting,
True love lingers.
Be mine always
And you'll keep your fingers.

Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.

Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand,
So I won't be a self-made man.

When a goon makes you die,
cuz you told him goodbye
-- that's amore!

I take old Starbucks Drink Cups and
turn them into Lamps

The warm panels are made from melting down old Starbucks drink cups, but it looks and feels like mica or some organic material. The wood in the lampshade and base is pulled from our 100 year old house in Astoria Oregon during a remodel, and it all comes together for a beautiful, classic look.

Check it out!

Editor's Note: Be sure to check out my blog at -- maybe not as funny as the 5,000+ jokes here, but I ramble about life, technology and other things that make the world... nutty.

Today's blog: Terms of Service in lieu of Legal Governance
Follow @bissell and @jokeindex on Twitter